“Steven Alan Green is ONE funny writer —— Everything I read of yours makes me laugh and think – Not just the kind words about me…But the insights you have for the Comedy racket….You’re Barbara Hershey, we are beaches. — The late Taylor Negron, actor, comedian, modern-day icon

We all need a website these days. And some of us have book or movie ideas.  And just about everyone needs a bio.  Now, imagine having them created and written by a top-notch Hollywood writer.  A writer who has written jokes for Leno, speeches for Roseanne, and screenplays for Oscar winning producers and directors.  

My name is Steven Alan Green and I have been writing ever since I was a little boy writing to Santa.   My credits are extensive and varied, my creativity and imagination is virtually unparalled and I've been recognized as "a really good writer" by some of the smartest writers, comedians and producers in Hollywood.   I hire myself out to all sorts of clients, from the male psychiatric nurse who is a children's party clown and needs a structured show, to the car company who needs their website content more sparkly to bring in new car customers, to the retired school teacher in Ojai who wants to publish a book based on her life experiences and family recipes.   


One of the things I know how to do is SEO, or "search engine optimization".   This is a learned skill that basically makes the Google robot pay attention to your website.  It can mean the difference between life and death of a business these days.  Your potential customer Googles "coffee house valley", your coffee house better come up in the top 3 or you ain't getting any new business.  I know how to make Google pay attention and list your company in the top 5 searches and even maybe #1 if we're lucky. 


I approach all blogs as a film pitch.  I ask the client for 3 things: Their beginnings and inspiration, what they're doing now, and where they see themselves going.  I then write a one-page professional looking bio, but a bio with a life to it.  A bio with the "central character" as you. 

I write a popular blog for The Jewish Journal about comedy and theater.  "Enjoy the Veal" is enjoyed by fans on both sides of the Atlantic.  It's often personal and sometimes bizarre.  I also write blogs for people and businesses in much the same way, except the "movie" is more spelled out. And, it's generally not about them.  Not about the client, unless, that's exactly what they want. It's more often than not about something. Something else.  I write it "interesting".  And, of course SEO it too.   One of the best ways to get your blog read is to have it written with SEO in mind.  I do this automatically for you. Having a blog can enhance your website.  Brings it back to life.  


I've ghost-written dozens of books and eBooks for all sorts of clients.  The process is collaborative, whereby we discuss, then I give you assignments to write and I edit and guide. That's what I call "collaborative ghost-writing"; I also do the regular kind where a client tells me they want a book written for them, I go away and write it.  I am also very good at writing half-hour teleplays, one-hour teleplays, and the 110 minute screenplay format.


I have samples of all my writing of all forms discussed above.  If interested, contact me and we'll have a phone chat.  I have clients worldwide, from Hollywood to London, England, to Tokyo.   I usually require a 25% deposit, then I send you a simple one-page contract that has payment and delivery dates.   

PRICES VARY according to what you can afford and what my workload is at the time.  I'm affordable no matter what.  


Are both important to me.  Therefore, with every project I write for people?  My heart is in it as if it were my own and my name is going on it. I'm intense, detail oriented and fun to work with.  

Quotes & Endorsements

  •  SAG is a maven of comedy.  He makes stream of consciousness look easy.  He makes belligerence fun.  He makes taking comedy seriously lighthearted.  He makes me laugh.”  -- Beth Lapides; creator and producer of Uncabaret (and Sex Goddess, IMHO)
  • Steven Alan Green possesses the kind of writing that reminds you of when better writers were in the fore.  He has a twist to the twist of phrase, that is his own.  I am a big fan of his words.”  --  Rick Overton, comedian & actor, HBO and Soderbergh’s, “The Informant”.
  • “Brilliant review of Ms. Karam’s tour de force, sir.” – Bill Zehme, Esquire, Vanity Fair, Playboy, Rolling Stone contributor and writer of the New York Times Bestseller, “The Way You Wear Your Hat: Frank Sinatra and the Lost Art of Living.”
  • “Enjoy the Veal is absolutely inspired stream of consciousness!  Hysterical, funny, biting, insightful, grandiose.   A surreptitiously diplomatic narrative smart enough to sanely and ultimately further his own self-interests.   Green is a brilliant, but fatefully undisciplined comic genius, grabbing the baton, (i.e. QWERTY keyboard in this case) from the likes of Hunter S. Thompson and Norman Mailer (Think “Fire on the Moon”).   Even if you don’t follow it all, it’s a wonderful runaway train ride consisting of his painful life experiences, his attitudes, observations and especially his misgivings.   Kudos and hosannas!!  About THAT, there are no misgivings on our part!”  -- Danny & Joe, somewhere in England

Thanks for thinking of me and whether you hire me or not, I sincerely do hope your project gets off the ground.   

Steven Alan Green


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